Things I have learned in College
- Pay attention in class
- ...but only if there's something relevant going on.
- Do not compare your professors to Muppets or Disney characters unless you are certain you can muffle your laughter.
- Do not question why your Iranian professor seems to have a Russian accent.
- Don't let the idiot have the lighter in Chem lab.
- You can have Oreos for breakfast.
- Don't have Oreos for breakfast.
- The heat will not be turned on until after the first miserable cold snap, and it will be turned off the week before unseasonably cold weather.
- Double-layered shower curtains are the devil.
- Do not leave rubber bath mats folded up in the corner of the shower for months on end.
- Clorox + Black mildew/mold/whatever it was = LOTS of blue foam.
- Do dishes regularly.
- Wet leaves are slippery.
- The people in D patio apparently have interesting sex lives.
- Guitar practice should not take place after 10pm unless you are playing quiet songs and you are good at it.
- Smoking in a dorm room + shared vents = pissed off me
- Wet bike seats suck.
- Get to meals and lectures early.
- Always have an extra Scantron on hand.
- DO NOT LOSE YOUR ID
- Try not to lock yourself out too often. After the third time, they start charging you.
- Check your mail often.
- At least once a month, clean like a mad person.
- The cafeteria food isn't as bad as you think.
- Carry more than one pen and pencil. Trust me.
- Always look at the door handle or railing before you touch it.
- Seriously. ALWAYS.
